she looked like the before picture.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
