I never want to see another naked old woman again.
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
