Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
