they need to just BURY HIM!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
