Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize