I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
