Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
