He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
