its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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