My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
