Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize