member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
soo... how was my night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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