Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
