im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
