You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
