i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
