You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
