apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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