No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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