watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
