i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He called his prostate his "boner button".
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize