Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
