It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
