Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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