She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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