I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
