i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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