You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Will exercising make me less horny?
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