So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
