i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
