i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
