Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
