well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Two words: nipple clamps
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