Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I said "one day" and that day is not today
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
