Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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