I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
