um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
