No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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