Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize