The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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