The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
