My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize