just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
