I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
