last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I believe in your delicious
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
