i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
