Don't you send me to vm
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
