I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize