I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
