Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
