we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
ok first of all what the fuck
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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