that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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