I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
