whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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