What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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