He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
