got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
