Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
