i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
