DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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