We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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