I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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