so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Randomize
