I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
