At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
