Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
