Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
