I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
