And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
