Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
