His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
