She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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