I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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